Nothin’ easier than Poe-ing a Gnu

Back in 2007, many internet atheists did not know Landover Baptist church was a wesbite community of Poes. And, at that time, PZ Myers had an army of acolytes. So what happens when Poes meet the Myers’ community? Hilarity – as the Poes played Myers’ crowd like a piano.

Poe #1 (notice Poes can spell when they want to):

Dearest PZ Meyer,
you make some convincing arguments and as the leading radio pundit and “Master Debater” in Freehold, Iowa (home of God’s favorite church- Landover Baptist) I feel compelled to strike up yet another lively debate on your evil and possibly homosexual blog (AIDS can’t be contracted over the internet, right?).
After reading your blog entry I tackled my Bible (KJV1611) in search of verses. I’m sure that all of us, Christian or atheist (*editorial snicker*), can all come to the agreement that God did in fact write the Bible and so there is no debate there. With that in mind not once in the Bible is it said that the Bible is wrong! To break it down: The Bible is the ultimate source of truth, the Bible says the Bible is right, end of debate.
I apologize for tearing down your entire belief system but I am sure that once you set up a tithing account at your local Lanover collection center you’ll feel much better.
Flawless in logic,
Wash O’Hanley

Myers’ fans respond.

First, a brief hint of skepticism, but then confirmation takes control:

I’m sorry but is this “Wash” for real? The level of ignorant authoritarian “reasoning” deserves no respect and is why the US is ankle deep head first in a religious oil war in Iraq. Wash must love to lick the toes of the Commander In Chimp… flawless in ignorance.

This atheist bought it all, hook, line, and sinker:

“I’m sure that all of us, Christian or atheist (*editorial snicker*), can all come to the agreement that God did in fact write the Bible and so there is no debate there.”

Do you suffer from delusions or do you enjoy them?

“With that in mind not once in the Bible is it said that the Bible is wrong!”

Editors prerogative.

” To break it down: The Bible is the ultimate source of truth, the Bible says the Bible is right, end of debate.”

Your head must be spinning from chasing your tail.

“I apologize for tearing down your entire belief system”

Look again. You haven’t.

“Flawless in” [IL]”logic,

Wash O’Hanley”

. . . from the Landover Baptist Church, where they’ve been “Guaranteeing Salvation Since 1620.” I think that it’s a safe bet that none of those who have been Guaranteed Salvation have filed lawsuits over your false advertizing.

Not for the reason that you believe, though Wash.

“Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Welcome!”

How heartwarming!

Poe #2 goes fishing:

Now Wash only offered to get down on his knees and shine President Bush’s shoes when appeared on Wash’s radio show here in Iowa.

But is it really necessary to duck Wash’s argument. You atheists pride yourself on being followers of logic. Well The Bible says right in it is written by God Himself. Right there in black and white is the proof God exists. You can go read it yourself. Unlike what that false I’ll-put-Dr-King-in-front-of-Jesus Christian Sinbad says The Bible is there for everyone to read.

BTW Shame on you Sinbad, God clearly advocates slavery in The Bible. A good Christian wouldn’t go around lying to even atheists but I guess that is what happens when you aren’t a member of Jesus favorite church, Landover.

Poe #3 goes to work:

Son, we see your post as a desperate attempt to get JESUS to come into your life and turn it around, and here at Landover Baptist, we change people for the better every day…depending upon their tithing schedule, of course.

Our great Pastor Deacon Fred is going to attend the American Athieists convention in Miami this year (as always) and rebuke some sinners to hell, including that Dawkins fellow who will be spending eternity with SATAN’S huge, barbed member slapping at his backside!
http://www.atheistalliance.org/conventions/2007/aaicon2007_video.php
If I were you, I’d give up my faithless lifestyle, join Landover Baptist, and HOPE we can save you before JESUS comes back to kill everyone at Armageddon! ::angry

Poe #4 is a little more playful:

Why oh why do you single minded evil Atheists and Monkey Worshippers have to go on persecuting True Christians all of the time?
Jesus died temporarily for YOUR Sins. Why can you not let HIM enter you and fill you with HIS Love?
I shall pray for you all.
YIC
Talitha

Then along comes Poe#5:

I will pray for all of you tonight. Evolution is the greatest lie of modern times–unlike the Bible, which is supported by archaeological evidence at every turn, evolution has NO proof and is COMPLETELY untestable. It’s not even science! In order for macroevolution to be scientifically proven, we would have to witness and document a monkey/snail/worm/rock becoming a human/duck/elephant/unicorn or whatever have you. This has never happen and it never will. Even evolutionists admit that their theory doesn’t hold up–witness the squabbling about “saltations.” If that’s not a code word for intelligent design, I don’t know what is.
Notice how the scientists change their theory every time another “peer-reviewed” (liberal-approved) paper comes out… while God’s Holy Word has remained unchanged for the past 2,000 years!

Jeff, you seem like a very angry person. Could it be that deep down, you know you are a lost soul who deeply yearns for God’s friendship and a true Christian marriage? Are the dozens of men you’ve taken to bed with you really just substitutes for the only One who can truly satisfy you? Please think about these questions before you attack me. God loves you very much, and he hasn’t given up on you yet! 🙂
Virginia D. Templeton
http://www.landoverbaptist.net

That does it. PZ’s fans, having lapped it up, begin to unload:

what orifice did you pull that one from?
I’m way more “angry” than jeff.
but hey, our first real religious troll… and, OMFG, it’s a
LANDOVER BAPTIST!!!
we struck the motherload.
will you stick around for the inevitable evisceration your post deserves, virginia?
please say yes.

and

If I had a dollar for every time I heard an idiot Christian verbally masturbate on about how “Evolution(ism) is a lie,” about how it is “unsupported”, “without proof,” or “is untestable,” I’d be rich enough to buy the Vatican, Pope and all, and still have enough platinum-plated swag to make Pat Robertson look like a bleached sewer rat in a cheap suit.

and

Virginia #267 : “evolution has NO proof and is COMPLETELY untestable”
From Apologetics for Religious Dummies, ‘Caps emphasize the Sacred Nature of So-Called Truth about Faith and SHOUTING makes the untrue TRUE.’

Why Didn’t We Atheists Think of That? Here goes: Virginia, BIOLOGICAL EVOLUTION IS AN EMPIRICALLY DEMONSTRABLE FACT. THEORIES OF BIOLOGICAL EVOLUTION ARE TESTABLE, BUT, IN ACCORD WITH THE RULES OF LOGIC, INDUCTION NECESSARILY PRECLUDES PROOF.

I guess that Virginia must have actually met God in order to consider that His Existence is Fact and He must have personally assured her that her Beliefs are Proven.

The funniest part is when some of the Gnus try to let the others Gnus in on the fact Landover Baptist people are Poes. After learning of this, one of the Gnus has a hard time letting go:

Are you saying that they *have* realized that they are not making sense? My impression from the few that posted and ran was that they have no clue that they truly are deluded. It is part and parcel of the fundamentalist cognitive disorder to believe that one is correct to believe in the unbelievable.

And yet another atheist tries to dispute their existence as Poes:

Nothing is further from the truth. I have had some experience with these people and they believe everything that they say. They really believe in EVERY word of the bible.

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7 Responses to Nothin’ easier than Poe-ing a Gnu

  1. James Parliament says:

    That was some funny Poe’ing. Much enjoyed.

  2. Bilbo says:

    could the Poes also be the frustrated atheists?

  3. dernostalgischetyp says:

    the army of reason Ladies and gentleman!

  4. stcordova says:

    Michael,

    I’m sorry I’m late to the game and you probably already explained in another post, but does the phrase “poe-ing” refer to poes law? The Westboro Baptist Church, are you saying those guys have just been posting for 12 years and are just making paradoy or statire, that they aren’t real fundamentalists?

  5. Michael says:

    I’m sorry I’m late to the game and you probably already explained in another post, but does the phrase “poe-ing” refer to poes law?

    Yep

    The Westboro Baptist Church, are you saying those guys have just been posting for 12 years and are just making paradoy or statire, that they aren’t real fundamentalists?

    The Landover Baptist Church is the hoax web site, filled with very prolific Poes. The Westboro Baptist Church is that crazy, publicity-seeking family that calls itself a Church.

  6. TFBW says:

    Landover is practically a mega-church compared to Westboro. 🙂

  7. Charlie 2n says:

    Stcordova…. are you Sal Cordova from TelicThoughts and UD??
    If so, hi.

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