The Postmodern Land of Oz

William Briggs has an interesting essay entitled, “When Marriage Can Be Anything, Marriage Can Be Anything.”

He begins as follows:

It is only irrational animus, bigotry, and hatred that causes some to deny that human beings and fairground rides cannot marry. Love is love, and sometimes love extends to the soaring tracks, twisting hairpin curves, and thrilling loop-de-loops of roller coasters.

Yes. Two women have married, not each other, which would not be unusual these days, but each has married a roller coaster. Not the same roller coaster, of course; that would be absurd; different roller coasters.

Briggs links to various articles that are….well…interesting.  For example:

This follows a “courtship” of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.

Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports

“I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said.

Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally.

“I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.”

Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it.

She claims to believe they share a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship and does not get jealous when other people ride it.

Although she faces discrimination from employers, most of her family and friends have been supportive. “I’m not hurting anyone and I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s a part of who I am.”

Huh?  Is this fake news?

If not, are we all supposed to recognize this as a relationship?  Are we all supposed to recognize this is as a marriage?  Is the roller coaster truly her husband? And if you say no to any of those questions, does that mean you are a hateful bigot?

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11 Responses to The Postmodern Land of Oz

  1. Kevin says:

    So will they have to claim the revenue from their roller coaster spouses in their tax filings? That’s going to hurt a lot.

  2. TFBW says:

    I’ve heard of roller-coaster relationships, but this is ridiculous.

  3. Kevin says:

    Hopefully they won’t fly off the rails.

    *crickets*

  4. unclesporkums says:

    Again, just continuing to do our work for us.

  5. Jon Garvey says:

    I suppose if God can “make a mistake” so that a boy is born in a girl’s body (or vice versa), it’s just as plausible that a soul created to be a roller coaster could somehow end up in a human body.

    But supposing a normal, healthy roller-coaster like 1001 Nachts was mistakenly built gay, and doesn’t <want to be married to Miss Wolfe? Do roller coasters not have the right to choose as well, though they lack the ability to express their choices? This relationship sounds rather abusive and homophobic to me.

  6. Kevin says:

    It does seem to set a dangerous precedent. If the legal grounds for marriage only require that an adult claim a spiritual connection with the proposed spouse, with no consent from that proposed spouse, then anyone and anything could suddenly be married on a whim, with no legal recourse.

  7. stcordova says:

    “I’ve heard of roller-coaster relationships, but this is ridiculous.”

    Bravo!

  8. Regual Llegna says:

    Is this consensual? What the roller-coaster want? Wedding vows?/s

  9. TFBW says:

    @Kevin: nobody’s talking “legal” anything here. That in itself is an interesting aspect of the issue. Turn the clock back a hundred years, and there would have been no question as to who is married to whom, and what marriage is, and if you said you were married to a roller-coaster it would be grounds for a declaration of insanity. But corrode the concept first with easy divorce, then de facto marriage, and then homosexual marriage, and you wind up in a state where marriage is transient, legally vague, and open to redefinition based on personal wants. At that point, claiming that you are married to a roller coaster isn’t insane, just avant garde.

  10. Bob in Maryland says:

    Old news. This has already happened – in Britain, more than 15 years ago. While I was living there, the newspapers were abuzz for a week or so when a woman married her statue of the Eiffel Tower.

  11. It makes me wonder. Was she born with a sexual lean towards roller coasters? (pun intended). Seriously, did nature create her to be attracted to something not natural? That’s absurd if you ask me. Kinda makes you wonder if being “born this way” is a very shaky reason to accept an alternative form of sexuality.

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