William Briggs has an interesting essay entitled, “When Marriage Can Be Anything, Marriage Can Be Anything.”
He begins as follows:
It is only irrational animus, bigotry, and hatred that causes some to deny that human beings and fairground rides cannot marry. Love is love, and sometimes love extends to the soaring tracks, twisting hairpin curves, and thrilling loop-de-loops of roller coasters.
Yes. Two women have married, not each other, which would not be unusual these days, but each has married a roller coaster. Not the same roller coaster, of course; that would be absurd; different roller coasters.
Briggs links to various articles that are….well…interesting. For example:
This follows a “courtship” of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.
Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports
“I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said.
Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally.
“I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.”
Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it.
She claims to believe they share a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship and does not get jealous when other people ride it.
Although she faces discrimination from employers, most of her family and friends have been supportive. “I’m not hurting anyone and I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s a part of who I am.”
Huh? Is this fake news?
If not, are we all supposed to recognize this as a relationship? Are we all supposed to recognize this is as a marriage? Is the roller coaster truly her husband? And if you say no to any of those questions, does that mean you are a hateful bigot?